Starting Over.

As we near the end of the semester, it seems about time to write a short reflection on how things have been going recently. I'm afraid the results of the past three months have been nowhere near what I expected them to be. Nevertheless, for the sake of being real and honest, I'm going to tell you!

When I got here in September, I knew it was going to be challenging to stay healthy while back at school. I was right! And more than I thought! Being at school completely shook up my routine. I really had no idea what I was getting myself into. Healthy food and fitness had been my #1 priority all summer, but as time went on that just got more and more difficult here. I slowly stopped exercising as much and started eating more... a lot more, actually. And yes, I ended up gaining weight.

I was frustrated and disappointed in myself. The struggle between enjoying myself and being healthy was driving me a wee bit crazy, and as a result I developed some pretty unhealthy eating habits that I am still trying to beat. Health had become an obsession for me... an obligation, a cage, an expectation. My perspective changed from being happy about eating well to feeling guilty for eating things I felt I shouldn't have.

Then last week I went off my diet completely; I did not count a single Weight Watchers point. That may sound bad, but you know what? I think it was actually good for me. I spent the whole week enjoying myself. I hung out with my housemate and her family, ate a delicious thanksgiving meal, and didn't regret one second of it! It was refreshing to be carefree.

It's not that I don't want to be healthy anymore, because I do. In fact, I started counting points again today. I think I just needed to recenter myself and find the balance between health and happiness. Of course, that means I need to start over and yeah, that sucks a little bit. No, I didn't lose those last 5lbs like I was planning to at the beginning of the semester, and my body isn't quite as fit as it was when I first got here. But life is about more than a number on the scale, and being healthy on the inside matters just as much as the outside.

So here's to new beginnings. Cheers.
- Rebekah

P.S. I'm curious to know... if you are trying to lose weight or just be healthier in general, what motivates you to stay on track?