The Weight on My Shoulders

Ok, people. There's something I feel I should say. 

... woah. Is it just me or did the room get really quiet all of the sudden? Ahem. 

I'm all about keeping it real. I don't want you to think I'm some sort of weight-loss super hero, cause I'm not. Nor am I a fitness junkie. I'm just a normal girl with big ambitions, struggling with the same problems as everyone else who is trying to get healthy. 

So, here's the deal. 

Since being back at school, I have gained weight. Yup! There it is, out in the open. I know almost a couple weeks ago I said I had been maintaining... well, not so much anymore. That little number on the scale has bumped up a few. Like I've said before, this blog is about my weight loss journey. This is part of my journey, so I think it makes sense to talk about it. Now, this is going to be super honest - I'm kinda nervous. Buuuuut here goes nothing...

Why I gained weight:

1. Binge eating. Maybe not to the point of being a "disorder", but eating when I wasn't hungry? Yes. Feeling out of control? Yes. Feelings of guilt afterwards, restricting my diet and/or exercising more the next day, and eating alone so no one would see me? Yes, yes, and yes. I honestly don't know how it started, because I've never done anything like that before. But for a couple weeks... I just sort of lost it. Maybe it was stress or something. Whatever the case, it certainly wasn't healthy - for my body or my mind. 

2. Drinking. This is probably the biggest difference between dieting at home and trying to diet here. At home, I didn't have friends to hang out with on the weekends and therefore hardly ever had any alcohol. That is not the case here at college, to say the least. The biggest struggle I have here is limiting myself to just one or two drinks. Like the binging, it's a self-control issue - one that comes with a lot of calories.  

3. Being a slacker. I just haven't been as committed to my exercise as I was before. Simple as that. 

What I'm going to do about it:

1. Go to Weight Watchers meetings. It's official, I signed up for real! Instead of just using the Weight Watchers guidelines under the table, I am now an honest-to-goodness member. You should have been there when I told them I wanted to join; they were so confused. Yes, I know I don't have 75 pounds to lose, Good People of Weight Watchers. I just want the meetings. I want the leader. I want the support system! Bring on the group hugs! 

Ok, maybe not quite that far. 

But you get the picture, yeah? I need something to keep me motivated and hold me accountable... a community of people dealing with the same issues as I am. I went to my first meeting last week and oh man. I'm really excited to go to another one this Saturday! This is exactly what I've been missing!

2. Get serious. No more underestimating the point-value of foods or overestimating how much exercise I've done. No more eating like crazy or indulging "just this once"... again, and again, and again. It's time to crack down and go back to basics. Back to measuring serving sizes. Back to writing every. single. thing. down. Back to deciding ahead of time when I'm going to exercise each day and actually doing it. 

3. Drink more. No, not alcohol, silly. Water! Water and I used to be such good friends! Somewhere along the way we lost touch... now, it's been too long. Actually, what I've been doing for the past few days has been working really well so far. Before I eat anything (a snack or a meal), I have a glass of water. This not only hydrates me, but also helps keep me satisfied on less food. Score. 

That about sums it up for now! I have a legit Weight Watchers weigh-in in four days. I'll let you know how it goes. :) Even if I lose just a little bit, I'll know I'm back on the right track! Fingers crossed! 

- Rebekah